5 Companies that could still sponsor Tiger Woods

The aftermath of Tiger Woods‘ lying and cheating is that his career is pretty much dead. Sponsors think he’s toxic and have been dropping him like Spencer Pratt drops bullshit everytime he talks. But not all has to end bad, Friggin Random has though long and hard about how Tiger could keep his current sponsors. In reality, he fits the motto of some of them, and some have to be slightly tweeked.

 

 

 

 

NETJETS is a private plane fractional ownership company. This fits Tiger’s situation perfectly, he likes having a little piece of every girl he sees. Use it when you want it, but you don’t have own it and bear the costs of having it all the time.

 

 

 

 

 

NIKE‘s slogan is “Just Do It.” I have no idea why NIKE is no longer sponsoring Tiger Woods. NIKE’s motto is the motto of Tiger’s life. You see a mediocre cocktail waitress, just do her. See a chunky monkey, just do her. The only thing I can’t figure out is why Tiger didn’t go a step up in his choice of flings.

 

 

 

 

 

TAG Heuer is the most recent sponsor to drop Tiger Woods. Their slogan is Avant-Guarde. According to wikipedia Avant-Guarde means “advance guard” or “vanguard”. The adjective form is used in English,

to refer to people or works that are experimental or innovative. Again, just like nike they don’t need to modify their slogan for any Tiger advertisements. Tiger experimented a lot with all kinds of women. He was innovative in lying to his wife too, ” Hey wife, i’m going to the Hooters again for..umm…umm…golf, ya that’s it im there for a Golf match, gonna see if I can score that hole…I mean hole in one.”

 

 

 

 

 

EA Games, “It’s in the game.” EA Games will have to change its slogan, or make its game more Grand Theft Auto-esc. Maybe at each hole, you have to fight off guys with your nine iron so you can use your wood on the women? Just an idea, might be a hit.

 

 

 

 

 

Target or Targé “Expect More, Pay less.” Wow, I couldn’t have put it better myself. Why go for high class hoes when you can pay a lot less for your run  of the mill girl but you can expect more. Because these girls would never deam of ever riding anyone like Tiger they will do what ever he wants, thus pay less and expect more.

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